Al Gore = See, Global Warming is attracting more meteors from space and helping to create a faster runaway green house effect.
Al Sharpton = When that meteor hit near Washington DC, it was a message from God that I was right about Twana Brawley, that's why it hit in the Appalachian mountains.
Diane Feinstein = When all those fragments started impacting, it reminded me of assault rifles and the impact of bullets and we need to strangle control both of them.
Pelosi = This is what happens when you actually read the Obama care bill, even AFTER voting on it.
Obama = God has sent down a star, to see a star,....ME! But if it's a bad omen, blame Bush
Chris Matthews = Obama gave me a tickle, but that meteor gave me goosebumps!
David Letterman = We tried to have the meteor stop by tonight, but it broke down somewhere outside NYC.
Mayor Bloomberg = If only it had hit a soft drink manufacturer!
Jerry Brown = Too bad it didn't hit here, California could have asked for more Federal help.
Olberman = Does this mean I can get my job back?
Hillary Clinton = I take full responsibility, but it's not really my fault, and you don't have a right to ask about it anyway.
Bill Clinton = Heck, this deserves a cigar!
Joe Biden = Is that the star King Herod was looking for? Is he still around?
Jay Leno = "Hey did you hear about the meteor that made a molehill out of a mountain?"