Accio Visine! 6 spoiler-free tips for reading the new Harry Potter script
Scooping up the script for "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child"? Here's your guide to prepping for Harry's last hurrah -- and savoring every moment.
Warning: While there aren't any true spoilers for "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child" here, to avoid any information from the new script, however vague, come back after you've finished reading it.
Accio Visine! Or whatever the Hogwarts spell is for refreshing exhausted eyes after purchasing "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child" at midnight Sunday and reading until 3 a.m.
Yes, I read it all, and I'll probably spin my Time-Turner and read it again later this week. Jack Thorne wrote the play's script, which is based on a story by J.K. Rowling, director John Tiffany and Thorne. If you're just about to conjure up the magic, here are some tips.
1. Drink from the "Goblet."
Before you dig in to the script, Amazon's most preordered book of 2016, you may want to grab the 2000 tome "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" and give it a glance. Not giving anything away, but "Cursed Child" makes more than a few references to the legendary Triwizard Tournament, and it'll help if you remember Durmstrang, Beauxbatons and hunky Cedric Diggory.
2. It's a family affair.
Your favorite (and least favorite) characters are all back, or at least talked about. Yes, him. Yes, her too. Not telling you how, but it'll be like a family reunion. If you don't like how the plot is going for one of them, it's like they say about the weather in Texas -- wait a few minutes, it'll change.
3. Malfoys! Meet the Malfoys!
Draco Malfoy was the most hated towheaded terror in fantasy literature until Joffrey of "Game of Thrones," but his son, Scorpius, has fallen far from the poison tree. (Not a spoiler, official Potter sites have revealed this much!)
Scorpius and Harry's son Albus form an almost Potter-Weasley style friendship. In fact, many of the quotes I highlighted for their sheer poetry came from the two friends just hanging out. And you may come away from the book with a new appreciation for crabby old Draco too. I did.
4. No business like show business.
Some critics went out of their way to warn Potter fans that this is indeed a play script, and is printed as such, with stage direction and production details. These won't bother you. They're elegantly written, and often add to the experience. Readers might puzzle over how some of the special effects could take place in front of a live audience, but author J.K. Rowling has promised the play will travel around the world, and a generation raised on the Potter films can envision almost anything.
5. Savor it.
Although many Potterheads read the script in a few hours and posted their praise on Twitter, there's a reason the London stage production is broken into two separate plays. The printed script runs 320 pages. But because it's divided up into theatrical acts and scenes, you can easily find good places to temporarily stop reading. (To me, the division between the two parts of the theater show didn't seem like a giant separation, I kept right on going. Must've been frustrating to have to get up and leave the theater there.) And you'll want to savor it because Rowling said again on Saturday that this is the last book, that "Harry is done now."
6. Cry if you want to.
Does Flourish and Blotts sell Kleenex? You might need some. The script doesn't shy away from revisiting some of the saddest plot lines in the Potter pantheon. (LILY! JAMES!), while digging into Harry's mental state after growing up unwanted and mistreated. I found myself with a lump in my throat at a scene involving Hagrid and baby Harry that didn't exactly unfold anything new, but couched familiar events in such direct and personal language it all seemed fresh. Oh fine, I'm just going to say it: Act Four, Scene 13 is a tearfest. Rowling wasn't wrong when she tweeted this: