A new app on Google Play texts your girlfriend so you don't have to. What?
There really is an app for most things you might want an app to do — but there are some things, we believe, that maybe we don't need an app for. One of these things would be replacing actual human interaction.
Take for instance, BroApp, recently launched on the Google Play store. "BroApp is your clever relationship wingman," the description reads. "It automatically messages your girlfriend sweet things so you can spend more time with the Bros."
Aside from the fact that it presupposes that girlfriends are horrible, high-maintenance people who are going to get all up in a guy's grill if he doesn't send her a steady stream of placatory text messages, the entire setup revolves around standardising deception so that the guy can get out of having a conversation with his girlfriend.
Its features include a Wi-Fi detector that allows the app to detect the girlfriend's Wi-Fi and halt sending messages when it's in the vicinity; something called a "Girlfriend Intrusion Detector" that somehow will prevent the girlfriend from uncovering the "BroApp secret" (what?) and a recent contact detector — if you manage to remember that you actually like talking to your girlfriend and send her a message, the app won't send any messages.
The whole thing just raises so many questions. Don't men like their girlfriends? Are the girlfriends in question getting upset if the boyfriends are seeing their friends? If the men are having so much trouble remembering to send text messages, and the girlfriends are getting so upset by it, why aren't they sitting down and having a conversation about the expectation management and compromise?
And therein lies the crux of it. If you would rather buy an app to deceive your partner than actually communicate about potential issues, we suspect that you might have a slightly more significant problem.
Apps are good for any large number of things, and we love them to bits — but an app for deceiving someone you supposedly love so that you can avoid remembering having to talk to them is just a little off.