The iPhone app that sucks out Facebook bikini pics

App Badabing serves a vast social need -- the need to look only at friends' bikini pics.

Bad? Or just a convenient Bing? Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

One should always appreciate those who truly understand the human psyche.

One should also always appreciate humanists who embrace the concept of honesty. They are so few.

Stunningly, there is now an iPhone app that manages to do both. It's called, with all due subtlety, Badabing.

Badabing appreciates that, at heart, you don't really enjoy staring at most of your friends' Facebook pictures.

No, no. But when they're on vacation -- or merely lounging on some local beach -- you are moved by the sight of seeing them in mere bathing attire.

Only then can you judge whether they normally wear girdles or Spanx. Only then can you fantasize or wince at their true corporal state.

I am bodily grateful to TechCrunch for having unearthed this social gem.

Badabing, one assumes, enjoys some little technological gizmo that allows it to identify photos that show a lot of skin.

Which means that the whole world will soon be outraged by the sheer immorality of its purpose. Indeed, the Sun, an apogee of understated modesty in all senses, is already fulminating with the headline: "Fury over iPhone App which searches through Facebook to find your friends' rudest pictures."

Legal scholars and humans will have already noted that all the bikini pictures on Facebook were presumably uploaded by people who'd like others to see their bikini pictures.

And yet the Sun is horrified that here is an app offering: "Find your friends' sexy pics instantly."

Those with their rationality intact will consider that most swimsuit shots might not score highly on the Pulchritude Poll. But rationality won't stop them, will it?

Given that this delightful invention -- which is marked by iTunes as downloadable only by those who are 17 and over -- is a mere $1.99, it will surely experience a cascade of sales.

Until Apple bans it, of course.

 

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