Teen ends relationship like he memes it, becomes Web hero
Kane Zipperman's girlfriend cheated on him, but wants him back. His posting of their exchange is less communication and more a certain art. But is it real?
When your lover cheats on you, it's as if several of your entrails have been removed without anesthetic.
You thought she was someone different. You thought she loved you for yourself.
Instead, it turns out she loves herself for herself and you for her convenience.
Kane Zipperman, who says he's the founder of the Sketch Crew, says that his girlfriend was unfaithful. However, that didn't mean she didn't still want to be with him.
For his part, Zipperman took to Twitter to post the entirety of their text exchange.
It's one in which she alternately pleads and spits, while he offers up as many memes as possible to eke out his apparent pain and ultimate rejection of her entreaties.
The 17-year-old from Georgia was steadfast. The unnamed girlfriend began: "So Um...I still like you...alot."
I don't see the word "love" there, do you? Not surprising, then, that Zipperman replied: "I like meth."
With a myopia that can only come from the narcissistically mendacious, she texted: "It was just one guy. Cmon Kane...Please...I miss you...No guy has ever treated me as good as you...You are literally the sweetest and cutest guy on the planet. Will you please be mine again...?"
Yes, no guy has ever treated her as good as Kane. How does she show her gratitude? By caning his pride.
Who can be surprised that, to this, Zipperman offered a Mila Kunis meme with the words: "Go f*** yourself"?
She calls him a "douche" for making their conversation public on Twitter. He replied, with deep wit: "It was just one tweet."
The memes, like the "I like turtles" kid, keep rolling from Zipperman, while the blind cliches stagger from his ex. She claims they're "just plain meant to be."
She can say this despite it being plain that the boy she's been unfaithful with happens to be Zipperman's best friend.
In the way that these things do, Zipperman's tweet has, at the time of writing, enjoyed 92,314 favorites and 73,501 retweets. He also now has more than 29,000 followers.
Naturally, there will be those (myself included) who fear that this might be artful subterfuge. Does this girl really exist? I know that many people would love a quick chat with her.
On Twitter, Zipperman reveals he's appearing tomorrow on HLN TV at 12:30. Perhaps then we might learn more.
Not everyone is delighted with his sense of humor. Some point to his occasionally questionable taste.
But when your heart has been ripped to pieces by someone who says, "It was just one guy," your art is inevitably driven by a certain rage.