Can you define someone by the gadget they clutch?
Can you identify their tendencies, proclivities, and even political opinions?
Researchers have long attempted to separate iPhone users from Android by suggesting all sorts of parameters.
Inevitably, there was also a study that insisted iPhone users have more sex than their Android counterparts. (Do androids have sex? Discuss.)
Now along comes a new research piece that describes iPhone users as wine-sipping frequent fliers and Android users as Big Mac-chewing bus-hoppers.
Battery Ventures' Jonathan Sills told Re/Code: "You would think iPhone users are all pinot-drinking yoga enthusiasts." Well, yes, actually, you would.
According to him, they're also more likely to own stock. Android users, on the other hand, as well as being bus-riding McDonald's types, are apparently more religious and more likely to be smokers.
I have contacted Sills to ask him for the sample size and full breakdown of his results and will update, should I hear.
However, as with most research, there is surely a chance to drive a bus through it and still leave room for the entire New Zealand rugby team standing one-abreast and performing the haka.
Clearly, it's easy to get the inference from this research that Android users are somehow declasse when compared to their more sophisticated counterparts.
However, perhaps the buses they ride aren't your usual crowded munis, but those sleek Google buses that hum through neighborhoods, shaking window frames and transporting the eugenically chosen to a higher metier.
Perhaps the fact that they do occasionally enjoy a McDonald's merely reveals that they are people of the people, rather than ivory-towerists, parading their phones for all to see and their rampant sense of style for all to admire.
To be defined by one's phone is as troubling as being defined by one's attitude toward body hair grooming or Gap-shopping.
Indeed, Sills did reveal that once you adjust for income, many of the apparent differences between iPhone and Android users recede.
As Android phones have become more socially acceptable -- especially thanks to Samsung's more recent Galaxys -- there's an understanding that people make choices according to their personal pleasures.
Indeed, it will be fascinating to see what may happen should Apple release, as many suggest, a bigger iPhone (or even two).
Will that alter the perception of those who buy it? Will they suddenly be thought of as followers, rather than leaders?
Worse, will they stop drinking pinot and suddenly devolve to chardonnay in a box?
The fears are endless.