If Captain Jack Sparrow had a toaster
...it would be this one.
I'm not really sure what this gadget's product page is saying, because it's all in German. But regardless, I want this toaster. It's sleek, black, and printed with a skull-and-crossbones as well as a bizarre Guns & Roses reference ("Sweet Toast of Mine") and get this--it'll brand your toast with a skull-and-crossbones as well.
Then your toast can have a pirates-vs.-ninjas battle with your Wee Ninja. Arrrrr!