Random

One word rarely used to describe Kim Kardashian is "mousy."

Although, for all I know, that might be one of Kanye West's pet names for his beloved.

She has, though, clearly wormed her way into the Western frontal lobes with a gift she gave the next Steve Jobs for Father's Day.

Should you have been detained in a Russian airport with passport problems recently, you might not be aware that West has declared himself -- not once, but twice -- the next Steve Jobs.

Perhaps this, therefore, might have been Kimmy's motivation in purloining two … Read more

You are not going to bereefer this.

In fact, you might need to steady yourself by whatever means you normally choose to create a little peaceful comfort.

You see, a group of scientists have got together, studied the brains of pot smokers and decided that regular marijuanists have brains that enjoy deficiencies.

These, specifically, involve a stunted ability to synthesize dopamine, a little neurotransmitter which, when fed correctly, makes you want to start a company called Facebook, climb Kilimanjaro, or run the 100 meters in 8.2 seconds.

Yes, a blunt can blunt your need to succeed.

I am grateful to PopSci … Read more

I want to tell you what a politically neutral, entirely non-homophobic rant looks like on Twitter.

For the purposes of this exercise, please imagine your name isn't Tony Stark, but George Stark.

Here goes.

"I'm gonna find you, George Stark, you toxic little queen, and I'm gonna f*** ... you ... up."

Wait, I'm not finished.

"If [sic, probably wanted to say 'I'd'] put my foot up your f***ing a**, George Stark, but I'm sure you'd dig it too much."

Should you have been too busy celebrating, say, the Supreme … Read more

Tweets are the soundbites that you don't even chew over.

Before they even come into your head in some full form, you thrust them out onto the world in the hope of instant approbation.

You might imagine that rappers, who live in the rhythm of words, would all be Twittermeisters.

And yet one Philadelphia judge decided that Meek Mill, a rapper who hopes for an immodest future, needs a little help with his 140-character pronouncements.

As the Philadelphia Inquirer reports, Meek was put through the legal mill after allegedly violating his probation following drug and gun convictions.

One of … Read more

Honestly, that free speech thing can be tiresome.

People end up endlessly expressing themselves and, every second of the day, someone's going to get hurt. Online, that is.

It's too easy to take out your iPhone and type "you liberal pig Euro a***ole," or some other type of spontaneous flattery.

The island of Grenada has decided that it has had enough. Its lawmakers wish to designate the country a decorous online enclave in the midst of the vile, open-mouthed free-for-all that is the Web.

So they have passed a law that makes it a criminal … Read more

If you happen to be involved in a trial that has severe racial overtones, you should perhaps know that mockery might not be the most appropriate mode of expression.

Don West, lawyer for George Zimmerman -- the man accused of murdering Trayvon Martin in Sanford, Fla. -- began his client's defense with a knock-knock joke, so perhaps the stage was already set for a different sort of theater.

You might imagine, though, that if you're a West family member, you'd temper your need to, say, leap to your favored social network to add to that mockery, with … Read more

When is a joke not a joke? When the police say so.

This seems to be the indication in the case of Justin Carter -- 18 years old at the time of the alleged incident -- who has reportedly been sitting in a Texas jail since March.

It all began after a game a "League of Legends." An argument is said to have spilled over to Facebook.

During this argument, Carter was allegedly accused by another gamer of being insane. Gamers say those kinds of things.

Carter's father Jack told KVUE-TV that his son replied: "Oh … Read more

I've been feeling a little crabby this week.

People have been annoying me for seemingly no good reason. But it hasn't yet gotten to that stage where I want to build a nuclear weapon and set it upon them.

I mention this only because, should I reach that demented level, I cannot use iTunes in the manufacture of that weapon.

You see, I have an iTunes account. And, thanks to the diligent Jim Dalrymple at The Loop, I now realize that I have already agreed not to design or produce nuclear weapons with the help of Apple's … Read more

Thursday saw an annual ritual that dedicated sports lovers cherish beyond most.

Yes, a bunch of tipsy New Yorkers mercilessly booed NBA commissioner David Stern while he tried to pretend to know the names of draft picks.

This year's draft was an especially dreary affair.

In times gone by, you could rely on my comely Golden State Warriors to draft high and pick someone whose name had never been heard then and hasn't been heard since.

This year, even committed sports fans would have been daunted to remember the name of a single player.

Perhaps that's why … Read more