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Kanye remixes: I am the next Steve Jobs

Dear readers, I hadn't thought to mention this before, but I am the next F. Scott, Fitzgerald, Mark Twain and Ernest Hemingway. There's more than a soupcon of Hunter S. Thompson here too.

There's also a touch of Walt Whitman, and I do have my John Updike and Arthur Miller moments. The latter I call Miller Time.

I apologize for such sudden immodesty, but I have been inspired by the great producer, rapper, fashion icon, and Kardashian-impregnator Kanye West.

He, you see, believes he's the next Steve Jobs.

You might think this is a temporary aberration, … Read more

Bill would force you to give police phone after accident

You may feel that everyone wants to peek inside your cell phone just at the moment.

Please, therefore, allow me to make you a little more insecure.

State legislators in New Jersey would very much like to make it easier for the police to go through your cell phone, should you be in any way involved in an accident.

The wording of their proposal -- Bill S 2783 (PDF) -- is quite precise in its breadth:

Whenever an operator of a motor vehicle has been involved in an accident resulting in death, bodily injury or property damage, a police officer … Read more

Is Marissa Mayer worth more than Tim Cook?

You can never underestimate the competitiveness of your average CEO.

You can also never underestimate the business sense of charities who know when they're on to an easy earner.

Tuesday brings news of Marissa Mayer trying to see whether lunch with her might be more valuable than coffee with Tim Cook.

Recently, someone who clearly values power over food paid $610,000 to have coffee with the Apple CEO. This was all organized by auction site CharityBuzz, which guilts people into doing exciting things and paying for them hugely.

Now, similar forward-thinkers are being asked how much it's … Read more

Banker sleeps on keyboard, mistakenly transfers $293M

They work them hard in German banks.

They make the eat, breathe, and sleep their jobs. Especially that last one.

At least that's the impression that must be gleaned from the tale of a German bank employee who fell asleep on his computer keyboard.

Oh, we've all done it. We've all woken up hours later to read that we just wrote: "CHHCHCHCHCHCCHCHCHCHCCCO."

And yet this bank employee seems to have fallen asleep during a transfer of funds.

As Agence France-Presse tells it, a court in Hessen heard that he was supposed to send 62.40 … Read more

Apple's latest ad: Not enough crazy?

Here's to the warm and cuddly ones.

It doesn't quite make one's smaller hairs salute, does it?

In recent years, Apple has tried various advertising routes, yet its default is still the tender, the human and the ever so slightly safe.

On Monday, in conjunction with its WWDC 2013 stage extravaganza, the company released an ad that echoed a huge amount of warmth and yet somehow offered a chilling relief to what used to be.

I was watching a presentation given recently by Apple's most experienced advertising creative director, Lee Clow.

In it, Clow explained how, … Read more

Invasion of crazy ants that dine on your iPhone

It was first spotted in Houston. But then so many strange phenomena are.

Now it's heading your way, regardless of where you might be keeping safe in these excitable United States.

It might seem to you as if it's had a few drinks. But no amount of offering it your Jack or your Bacardi will keep it from one thing it really wants in its mouth.

Yes, your S4, iPhone 5 or, indeed, anything that smacks of electronica.

Nylanderia fulva is its name. But you, at least as far as scientists are concerned, can call it the "crazy ant."… Read more

'Star Wars' actor's lightsaber cane gets him detained by TSA

You may have occasionally encountered a certain dead-eyed stare from a Transportation Security Administration operative.

He might not like your name, your shorts, or the odd bulge in your jaw. So he stops you and asks deep questions, such as: "What do you have in your pockets, sir?"

Peter Mayhew, the 7-foot-tall gentleman who played Chewbacca in "Star Wars," discovered the boys from TSA had a different preoccupation -- whether his lightsaber cane was a dangerous weapon.… Read more

Will laws soon stop you from filming your neighbors?

I hate to bring up the subject of people spying on people, but it seems to be entering the realms of an epidemic.

Many no doubt nice human beings are installing closed circuit TV systems in order to protect their properties from marauding anarchists or burglars who want to enter their houses to browse Facebook.

Once they have these systems, they begin to realize that they can use them to snoop on their neighbors -- especially the ones where the husband wears a skirt to greet the mailman.

Now the place that has more cameras than steak and kidney pies, … Read more

Brilliant special effect shocks men in bar bathroom

How can you get a tipsy man in bar not to drive his car home?

One thought might be to shock him so much when he goes to the bathroom that he has to rush (on foot) in the direction of the nearest ER to have his heart-rate reduced.

This highly entertaining PSA shows a bathroom in an unnamed British bar. It was created on behalf of the U.K's Department of Transportation.

Many Brits like to drink more than they eat. And with many bars still having very limited opening hours many men (and an increasing number of … Read more