Silly Pundits

Where is that naughty little phish?

Several of the Macalope's astute and sexually dynamic readers asked him to hit this piece by Lance Ulanoff which essentially says Artie MacStrawman is teh stoopid and don't know nothin' 'bout no Intramanet suckurity.

Well, there's only so much jackassery even this mythical beast can take down, so he's going to punt this one to MacUser's Dan Moren, who able handles the task. While the horny one wouldn't recommend anyone buy a Norton product, he thinks Dan's emphasis on, oh, you know, not wildly clicking on every URL that the former aides to … Read more

Taking the bait.

With a whole 8% of it now in the can, Jim Rapoza thinks it's a great time to look at the Most Overhyped Technologies of the Century.

Of course, Jim could have more accurately said "the decade", but century sounds so much more important. Like, 10 times as important!

Let's look at the list.

iPhone Social networks Grid computing Outsourcing RFID Virtualization Blogs Green technology VOIP Video on the Web

Surely the Macalope's intelligent and sex-ay readers can spot the red meat link bait on the list. Here's a clue: it's not really … Read more

iPhone DOOOMED!

This came to the Macalope inbox (which, oddly, is also brown and furry) just before Macworld Expo and he didn't have time to get to it then but it's still so funny it's worth noting (tip o' the antlers to Aymerik Renard).

Did you know that the iPhone is doomed to failure? Well, it's true.

The reason? Well, it seems that just as rock crushes scissors, Microsoft's plans for Windows Mobile 7 (due in 2009... or sometime thereafter... you know, when they get to it) totally beat the crap out of the 2007 iPhone! Don'… Read more

Ou, not again!

Peter Gutmann of A Cost Analysis of Windows Vista Content Protection fame emailed the Macalope (during the heat of Macworld Expo, so apologies for the delay) to respond to a piece the brown and furry one wrote a while back confirming the only piece of Gutmann's story he was qualified to make a judgement on:

That, on any given day, George Ou is not exactly traversing through a fully linked list.

Gutmann wanted to point out that he had, in fact, responded to Ou some time ago here.

Again, the Macalope will point out that he's not qualified … Read more

Apple's Quarterly Results

The Macalope's gracious and enormously well-endowed readers know he frequently gives ZDNet's Adrian Kingsley-Hughes a hard time. They also know that it's genuinely deserved each and every time and is administered not out of anger, but out of love.

Well, no, not love.

Compassion?

Concern?

Eh.

How about obligation?

No. That's not it, either.

Annoyance?

Hmm.

Wait, maybe it is anger.

Well, whatever the case, because he gives him such a hard time when he gets something wrong, he feels compelled to give him some credit when he gets something right about Apple.

Plus, it's … Read more

MacBook Air Attack

The Macalope knows the MacBook Air isn't perfect, but the amount of silly punditry it's attracting is seriously out of control.

First, did you know that the MacBook Air Lacks Features, Analysts Say (tip o' the antlers to the Rat Boy)?

It's true! And, according to squirrels, it lacks delicious nuts!

Well, pardon the Macalope for saying so, but dur-hey. He'd have to scroll through keynote again, but he's pretty sure that you don't need analysts to tell you that it "lacks features" because Steve Jobs actually said so. That "lack … Read more

Whose DRM is it anyway?

ZDNet's Adrian Kingsley-Hughes wonders, will Apple every fully embrace DRM-free music?

Causing the Macalope to wonder, will this raging headache right between the antlers ever stop?

Musing on the recording industry's current penchant for only selling DRM-free tracks through stores other than Apple's Kingsley-Hughes says:

While I can't see this having an effect on iPod sales, a decline in iTunes sales could ding Apple's profits, which in turn might mean that it has to get with the 21st century and throw away the digital shackles and compete openly.

You really haven't been paying any … Read more

Damn you to hell, John Gruber!

John Gruber finds a glorious nut of stupidity before the Macalope and gives it the appropriate treatment.

With disappointments like these, who needs successes?

Will someone please page the lithesome yet strong-handed nymphs whose job it is to massage the furry one's scalp right between the antlers? The Macalope's got a headache again.

What's causing it this time? PC World's 15 Biggest Tech Disappointments of 2007 (motto: "It's not another lame top-10 piece if we have 15 items!").

The Macalope doesn't have a problem with most of the items, even Leopard. You just knew an Apple product was going to be on there somewhere -- they simply can't resist -- and Leopard probably did disappoint … Read more

I've got nothing against the iPhone. I just wouldn't want my daughter to marry one.

Guess who's coming to dinner at IT's place?! Well, not the iPhone if Forrester Research has anything to say about it!

According to Forrester (tip o' the antlers to Blackfriars' Marketing), the iPhone isn't ready for enterprise use.

Well! That must bet the final word on that! Because it's not like Forrester's ever written something so completely bass-ackwards that it made you think about hanging up a shingle and becoming a high-priced technology consulting firm because, holy hell, if they're giving out advice like that, how hard could it be?

ZDNet's Larry Dignan … Read more