You may see an old, old coot,
But I'm geek who gives a hoot.
I geocache with a GPS.
Got ole contraptions, I confess.
Grandkids need some pics of them.
My equipment ain't no gem.
So many doodads comin' out.
Don't make this ole guy sit and pout.
I'm 65 and wanna go camping.
But darn, my gear needs revamping.
Each day new stuff's out in the mall.
Shucks, life's too short to see it all.
Money's tight and I want more.
Let contest prizes reach my door.
With gizmos, I'll be young again.
Please, oh please, just let me win!
Buy Microsoft Office Home & Student
Listen to Dwayne: 
For someone who spends so much time in the woods, Dwayne has sure picked a bunch of stuff with short battery lives. The Itronix GoBook II is a rugged brick, but he'll be better off with a smaller, lighter model such as the Panasonic ToughBook. The Canon EOS Digital Rebel's continuous-shooting capabilities won't keep up with a UFO, unless it hovers right over him; that'll take an EOS 1D Mark II. And sorry, but we couldn't quite squeeze that Hummer into our $4,000 makeover budget.
Rhyming couplets! How could we resist? And that poor, pathetic, plastic point-and-shoot with its guts hanging out: aren't there telethons for needy products like that? Lugging all that heavy equipment around, we're not surprised Dwayne falls down so much. Perhaps a tech makeover would be good for his health.
