Readers address online safety for kids

Every kid is different. Every family is different. And every style of parenting is different. Consequently, there's a lot of disagreement as to the right way to address online safety for kids and teens.

Among CNET News.com readers who responded to a request for comments on online safety for kids it's a hotly contested topic, with opinions rolling in from parents, kids, and nonparents, in addition to young adults eager to recount their experiences as kids during the Internet's earlier days. There's no real consensus on what to do, but everyone seems to agree on one point: Be informed.

On TechRepublic's forums, user Why Me Worry suggested that the biggest obstacle to children's online safety might be Net-clueless parents. "Parents who are truly concerned should educate themselves on how to install Web filters and lock down the browser to prevent access to inappropriate content," Why Me Worry said. "Parents seem to feel helpless and frustrated when the task falls upon them to secure their PCs, either because they feel overwhelmed by all the technical jargon, or simply because they expect someone else to do it for them. There is no excuse for being ignorant."

But then there's the inconvenient truth: Kids, especially teenagers, are often more tech-savvy than their parents are, and many of them don't like rules. TechRepublic forum user pc21geek highlighted this problem. "I used several different...content filtering software packages, all to no avail. My kids figured out how to disable them, bypass them, shut them down, etc. I finally had to...lock out the controls in IE and Firefox so they cannot bypass the proxy settings. So far, so good, but I am confident it's just a matter of time."

News.com reader sgtslappy, an 18-year-old, told a similar tale from a teen's perspective. "Restricting the computer will only make (teenagers) want to get around the blocks and restrictions even more...The more limits you set, the more likely they are going to rebel and do it just to defy you."

A few readers pointed out that there are a handful of Internet sites that teach kids how to hack into Internet-blocking safety software and hence circumvent their parents' restrictions.

But sgtslappy agreed that awareness is key. "Educate them and let them make the decision themselves...beat it into their heads that they shouldn't meet people off the Internet. I know my parents did."

Reader chuchucuhi, a 26-year-old, recounted experiences as a young Internet user in the 1990s. "As much as you think you can block something, the kids can get around it...Parents should teach their children to ask questions about anything they see (on the Internet), and not punish them for it."

A location-based strategy
Other readers, many of them parents, were quick to note that there are plenty of Internet-safety plans that don't involve blocking software that kids could find a way around. "I do not use Web blocking software," said user mrjam32, who added that he periodically checks his children's e-mail, browser, and instant-message logs for improper use and requires that the family computer be in a public area of the house. User lmr2020 had a similar strategy. "Keep the computer in a central location and monitor your children's usage. Worked for both my sons."

For some families, the hullabaloo over Internet safety has caused them to avoid high technology--sometimes to a degree that others would find extreme. "Get rid of your home Internet," said News.com commenter asdfoiuadsfoi. "We got rid of it about four years ago and never looked back. Honestly, I can't think of a single thing I miss." Surprisingly, this reader was not the only one who recommended avoiding a home Internet connection altogether. "We don't have home Internet or cell phones," said vm019302. "My kids haven't asked for them, and I can't imagine why they would want them."

Unfortunately, living without Internet access just isn't feasible for many families that have come to rely on it as a household hub of information and communication. (Needless to say, the readers who suggested it were met with a handful of "Are you kidding?" responses.) But there may be other ways to cut off the connection temporarily. TechRepublic responder jdmercha, a parent, had an interesting strategy. "We found one way to stop (the problem of kids surfing the net while we weren't home). When we left the house, we took the keyboards with us."

But if you go with that plan, you might want to check under the kids' beds before you leave. Forget pot, booze, or porn: They might be stashing a spare keyboard or two.

Tell us what you think about online security

More on online safety from CNET.com

• Digital kids feature: Blogging your baby
• DIY: Keep your kids safe online
• Downloads: Free monitoring software
• Video: How to use a firewall
• RSA panel addresses Net threats to children
• Downloads: Educational software for kids under 13
• DIY: Set up parental controls in Windows Vista
• Video: Stop objectionable spam
• Stopping online predators
• Roundup: Best Internet security suites

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